Resurrection & Rolling Stones

We have 4 different accounts of the alleged resurrection.  All differences can be attributed to bad memory except one:  If a stone was rolled in front of the tomb, the disciples would have known of it.  Why didn't they tell the women to either quit preparing embalming spices, or take some men with them to roll the stone away?  Even if this problem is ignored, John contradicts Mark and Luke by saying they embalmed the body on Friday.

Mark's scenario:

After Mark's gospel is written, Matthew doesn't like the ending, or the problem of the Marys bringing spices and expecting to be able to get to the body.  Also by now he knows of more miracle stories that should have been included.

Matthew's scenario: If you think Matthew's scenario is likely, add Mat 27:51-53.
At the moment of Jesus' death, the veil of the temple is torn.  There is an earthquake strong enough to split rocks.  Tombs break open, and the bodies of many dead saints are raised.  On the Sabbath, when Jesus resurrects, these zombies enter Jerusalem and appear to many.

But this fact, more miraculous than anything previous, went unnoticed by anyone in history except Matthew.  Luke learns of it, and decides to write his own gospel, leaving that part out.  But unfortunately he reintroduces Mark's problem of the women expecting easy access to the body.

Luke's scenario:

Later, the author of John knows about the problems in the synoptic narrative.  So he decides to scrap them all, and write a more logical and theologically correct gospel.

John's Scenario

John's gospel resolves the big problems, by embalming the body on Friday, at the expense of contradicting Mark and Luke.  He then creates a lesser problem.  If Mary wasn't bringing embalming spices, she could have more easily visited the tomb on the Sabbath.  Why did she visit the tomb on Sunday while it is still dark?  And in all 4 gospels, Jesus resurrects at least one day sooner than he predicted.

There are many skeptical scenarios.  Here's one: Here's another:

Joseph of Arimathea never intended for Jesus' body to remain in his own personal tomb.  On Saturday, he has some gentile slaves dig a grave and move the body to it.  After all the hooplah over resurrection, he decides to keep his mouth shut.  He is not mentioned among the early evangelists.